Flurries - Prologue to Snow Driven
January 2002

~*~*~*~*~



“You found it? Good, give it to me.”

Lane looked down at Ty, “I can’t reach it – you can fly silly.”

Ty grumbled, flew up, and snagged it, “Don't call me silly…” but she was quite happy to have that film in her hand so she could go blow it up.

Lane slipped back down onto the bed looking upset.

Ty blinked at him, “What’s your prob?”

“I just gave you command, disobeyed an order and called you a derogatory name.”

“Yeah yeah join the hate club... oh,” Ty blinked. Lane laid there looking out the window sadly.

“It's not such a bad thing... I guess,” Ty fidgeted, wanting to leave, there was too much talking here to be comfortable.

“It’s a bad thing to me.”

“Look, you were already changing before,” Ty shrugged, “it happens.”

“It shouldn't happen, my traditions should be stronger than this.”

“Traditions are crap anyways,” Ty grumbled.

After a long silence, “ ..... do you ever... miss -us-.“

Ty’s eyes went as wide as saucers. Lane sat up, one leg drawn up with his arms loosely around it, hair falling over one prettily blinking eye, waiting for her response.

Ty swallowed hard, “...do you?”

Lane sighed, “ ... sometimes... like now.”

“Why?”

“Because, I see you right there, so strong and so beautiful, wonderful to be around,” Lane answered honestly.

Ty fidgeted even more, “Yeah well... ermm... maybe I miss things sometimes.”

“Oh,” Lane replied softly, and watched her leave.

~*~*~*~*~

“Not you, that prissy...,” Lane stopped himself… blinked. Sabine may have gotten on his nerves every single day they were around each other, but still.

“Bitch?”

Lane turned away

“Oh you know she is.”

“Doesn't mean I’m allowed to speak it,” Lane answered softly.

“I think we have the freedom of speech here… in any case I exercise it,” Ty shrugged.

“But I don’t belong here.”

“Yeah, I look so native though, neh?” she retorted sarcastically.

“I can’t believe what you're trying to tell me, I just cant,” Lane sighed.

“What am I trying to tell you?”

“That I can just forget everything I grew up with.”

“It was the past, it was then, this is now...junk it into the album and lock it up,” Tyger huffed.

“That past made me who I am, I can’t forget that,” Lane shook his head.

“Don't mean you have to live it,” she argued.

Lane looked down, “I can’t be a bad mark to my people, and I have to behave properly.”

“Well, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want... but its slipping away from me,” Lane sighed.

“Yeah well, maybe its not important anymore,” Ty was still trying to dismiss the uncomfortable topic.

Lane was confused, “What could be more important than honoring my people?”

“Maybe its your new... well, yeah that,” she didn’t even want to say guy, much less Victor.

“Putting all my faith in one person tends to get me hurt,” he regretted immediately that he ad said that out loud.

Ty grunted, “I’m screwy maybe... er, is better. Ya know, I don't ponder after effects, I just blow stuff up.”

“Which is why you're trapped in here with me.”

“See? If I had thought, then I wouldn't have, but then I wouldn't have any fun.”

Lane blinked... if she'd known she was going to end up in here, she wouldn't have... he looked away. Ty blinked, wondering what she did now… oooh! Oops. Lane curled up against the headboard.

Ty fidgeted, “Ermm... well, Lane... what can you expect from me? Huh? I just...”

“Leave.”

“If I could.”

“You can, open the door, make a mess and just get the hells out!” he barely kept himself from yelling.

“Maybe I don't feel like getting crushed to death.”

Lane scrunched down in his pillows to try and forget she was there instead.

Ty scowled at him, “Why are you always expecting impossible things from me?”

“Because,” was the muttered answer.

“Because what?” she prodded.

“Because I always believed love could change anything. I was in love, guess you weren't, because things didn't change.”

“We covered this, did we? I don't know love, how can I change for something I don't know.”

“Because i loved... and I could change that,” Lane sighed, then shook his head, “but if I couldn't change that... then perhaps my love cant save my mother... let alone my people.”

“I’m not your mom or your people, I bet they believe in love and stuff... but I don't.”

“Or maybe I put my faith in the wrong thing,” he offered softly.

“Yeah, probably, I keep telling you that, I’m just a selfish bitch, and now you found someone better, okay? Can't I just be mean now?” she sighed.

“Can’t I just be the boy I came here as,” he retaliated.

“No, because you grew up, deal,” Ty glared at nothing.

Lane was NOT going to tell her to grow up, as much as he wanted to.

Ty looked just about desperate enough to blast the wall so she could leave. Lane went completely quiet, thinking that might help. Ty wondered how much it would take to blow out all the clutter in the hall… then plopped onto the floor just looking pissed. Lane curled up on the pillows looking hurt and confused.

Ty glared at him finally, “Is there more you want to add? Maybe I could muster enough to make a new door so I can leave?”

“I like my walls where they are please,” he replied softly.

“Well you seemed so intent on my leaving.”

Lane blinked, then looked down, “I didn't want you to have to put up with me like this,” he answered honestly.

“Being snappy and outspoken? I can deal with it.”

“It’s... weird.”

“No duh.”

“Definitely don’t like it,” Lane scowled.

“Yeah I’m having a blast.”

“But you just said... iiee,” Lane leaned back against the headboard.

“Sarcasm, Lane,” Ty said bitterly.

“Still learning that... rishan ailain,” Lane stopped himself, realizing what he was saying.

Ty blinked, “That’s something I haven't heard in a long time.”

Lane nodded slowly

Ty sprawled out, “I’m too young for this drama, I just wanted to blow something up.”

“You did blow something up, be content.”

“Bleh.”

Lane stretched out across his bed and propped himself up on his elbows to look down at her, “What’s wrong with contentment?”

“Cuz... it’s when you stop... and... like you think you're going fast enough but you could go faster. But what’s the fastest?”

“Does it matter?”

Ty blinked again, “...doesn't it?”

“I don’t see why... why not stop?”

“Stopping... is bad.”

“Stopping is being at peace,” he argued softly.

“There’s nothing to keep your mind off all the crap.”

“Contemplation allows you to choose and focus instead of making a mistake,” he rephrased her retort.

“I am a mistake, my whole life... why should it matter now?”

“Because you can change…” he realized they'd been through that argument and laid his head down, “nevermind.”

“Well maybe I could've... but I made a mistake, big surprise, now it's too late.”

“It’s never too late…”

“It's already too late,” she replied firmly.

Lane thought about that a moment, and then… started believing it.

“Who would I change for? You – no. Bastian - hells no.”

Lane nodded, “And it’s too late for me to make a difference,” he’d changed subjects without her noticing it as his thoughts drifted.

“You're with someone else Lane,” Ty sighed, “I’m tried, this is too much thinking.”

“I’ve been too content... I can’t change anything now.”

“It doesn’t matter anyways,” she answered as if they were still talking about the first subject.

Lane started to argue... then thought he was probably wrong there too and stayed quiet. Ty stared at the ceiling, thinking perhaps Lane might want a skylight. She really wanted out of there. Lane noticed her gaze and kept himself from crying for that reason, he didn’t want to lose his ceiling anymore than he wanted her to blast through his walls to get away from him.

It wasn’t the topic of her that had upset him. He’d generalized her words to what he was really concerned about, what was really at the core of his faltering conviction. He barely realized she’d been talking about herself, and trusted her words to fit into any situation. He was seeking help, her words were the only help he’d received so far. So Lane laid there, thinking, staring at the flower in the bowl of water. Ty curled up lazily and decided a nap should help.

Ty’s ear twitched, she heard Tanji outside the doorway.

Tanji blinked at the mess guarding Lane’s door like a huge sentinel, “What the seven hells....”

“Yesss, lemme out, cuz I'm mean and trapped with Lane and you care about him,” Ty purred through the slightly open door.

“Huh... good point,” Tanji started digging.

“See? I'll be gone soon - gah! Get away plant!” she leapt away from creeping vines from Lane’s flower.

“Ow... dammit,” Tanji unburied himself and continued unblocking the door.

Ty threw Lane a strange look, “Lane, aren't you glad?”

Lane just looked away.

“What? What'd I do now?”

Her words had completely set in now, and he replied with a sigh, “It doesn't matter.”

Ty now somehow felt that she did something bad, “Ummm, ermm.. ya know.. I was only talking about me.”

“Go on... leave.”

“Well I was…”

Tanji peeked, “What -did- you do to him?”

“I don't know!! I just can't say anything anymore! You crazy people take me seriously!!” she stomped out and went and picked up Wesley, flopping on the couch. She spoke to the kit, “I have a moral for you today, and I can actually explain it... never, ever, blow up milk... because if you do, you'll be trapped in a room with your ex and argue about life.”

Tanji blinked at Ty, “You argued about life with Laney-chan?”

“Instead, Wesley,” Ty continued, “blow up something like a 3 liter of coke... then you can have more fun, and no drama.”

“You didn't have to talk with Laney,” Tanji worried.

“THAT was the drama.. lets not talk about it,” Ty muttered.

“But he's upset... now my drama will be to figure out why,” Tanji blinked towards the hallway.

“It's me, blame me, and all will be right.”

“Noooo... cuz if he blames you he wouldn't be upset, and umm... Laney would never blame you.”

“Why not? I blame me,” she shrugged. “I just said something and he went spacey... I don't wanna think about it anymore.”

“Noooo spacey is bad, what did you say?”

Ty fidgeted, “Nothing, really... it was just... about us... well... me... when we were us. Then... well, I said I made a mistake and stuff... and... it doesn't matter anymore. It’s personal, I don't wanna talk about it again.”

“Ty... maybe its not so bad,” Kino offered quietly.

“It’s bad cuz Laney's upset,” Tanji pouted.

“Is he never not upset with me? I don't remember a time when he wasn't.”

“He wasn't upset with you this mornin,” Tanji pointed out.

Ty grumbled.

“You were talkin about you... what else did you talk about?” Tanji probed.

Ty sighed, “About contentment and um, how I don't like it and, er... well, his misplaced faith, and how he's not like he was and ermm... how I can't change cuz... well…”

Tanji sat and thought, “Gads... not faith, anything but faith.”

“It was all about faith, and love.. and I just.. well.. I don't go for that, I don't believe in it.. and well,” Ty tried shrugging it off.

“Faith gets him depressed no matter what,” Tanji groaned.

“It was awkward and painful, now go.. make laney better,” Ty insisted.

“Cant do that, I dunno what’s wrong with him,” he whined.

“Yes you do, he's depressed about faith.. go preach,” she growled back.

“Oh puhlease.. Im horrible.”

“Well, you at least believe in love.”

Tanji blinked, “Well... yeah.”

“Then you're better than me.”

Tanji was confused, “What does love have to do with faith?”

Lane walked out slowly just then, “Nothing.”

“I think love has everything to do with faith, actually,” Kino interjected. “Don't you have to have faith to even just love someone in the first place?”

“That’s trust,” Tanji tried to argue.

“It’s belief,“ Kino retorted back.

Lane sighed, “It’s foolish.”

Kino blinked at Lane, “Aren't you in love?”

“It doesn't matter... I cant make him love me.”

“He may yet, and you don't know,” Kino tried to comfort.

Ty just watched, staying quiet and fidgeting in her discomfort.

“So what if he does.. nothing changes,” Lane looked away.

“Things change.”

“They might, on whims of fate... but love has nothing to do with it,”

Lane shook his head.

“Have you seen Dontae? Did you *ever* imagine that could be possible?” Kino tried to argue by example.

“That was a change of fate, circumstances changed her,” Lane rationalized it away.

“Lane…” Kino began.

Ty scowled at Lane, “Okay, Lane, stop it.”

Lane stood there, head bowed, hands behind his back – obediently.

“I mean... I can say those things, I don't have people who care about me and family and a nation, but you.. you have those things, you can't just screw them all just cause I’m too stubborn to change,” Ty went off on him.

“I can’t do anything... if I couldn't change you, how can I change the fate of an entire island?”

“Because the entire island isn't bent on proving itself right!”

“But the youkai are.”

“The youkai aren't me either, and they aren't half as stubborn as me I’m sure.”

“I can’t keep trying forever,” Lane felt so weary.

“It hasn't been forever yet, has it? no, cause if it has, kill me now I’m old,” Ty grumbled. “So Lane... quit that, there’s only one faithless one around here and that’s me.”

Lane shook his head, “Everyone has to quit sometime or there’s no point... the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.”

“Okay, so quit me, quit me forever, never ever expect something of me again, but don't quit your family.”

“I can’t make any difference.”

“Yeah? I guess...” she had to come up with something he had done to convince him, “Er, see... I didn't hurt Wes or just leave him starving...” she excused lamely.

“My faith or my love had nothing to do with that, and they can’t help my people either.”

“I kinda... care, and yeah, I care about Wes... because I cared about you because... um... because you cared about me,” Ty looked everywhere but at him.

Lane shook his head again and walked away, toward the front door.

“Gods dammit Lane!!” she grabbed him before he left, “You're just going to walk away after I practically choked to death trying to get that out!??!??!!” now she was just totally pissed.

Lane eyes were very sad, “That’s what you taught me.”

Ty glared at him, “What do you want?! what!! I mean... I’m so tired of it, of this... trying to give you a little so you'll leave me alone... but it’s not enough... you want something from me that I don't have.”

“It’s not you... it’s me... I don’t have it in me anymore.”

“You're just taking the easy way out. Let me tell you something Lane... I took that way... and look at me. Does it get better? No, it gets harder and harder, so don't you dare start because I did.”

Lane looked at Ty, sincerely exhausted, “I can’t keep going... I can’t tell myself I make a difference when I don’t... sustaining my own faith by myself this long without anything is exhausting, I can’t do it.”

“And I can't keep trying to prove you wrong, you're exhausting my resource. What else can I POSSIBLY do? Just... tell me ..”

Lane blinked at her, “If I told you.... you would try?”

“Yeah, I came this freakin far of making an ass of myself,” Ty sighed, quelling her rage slightly, “Yes, just... tell me,” she watched Lane expectantly.

Lane looked back at that expectation curiously. Then he gently touched her face, easing himself closer until he was hugging her. Ty blinked, she hadn’t expected that, to get through to him. But she moved slightly and let her arms around him hesitantly.

“Fentirrin ailain Ty... I believe you... that’s what I needed.”

“Yeah... well... it's nothing... really...” Ty’s voice was shaky, very shaky.

“I couldn't just... I don’t know,” he slipped away from her slowly... almost reluctantly, like he'd still fall apart without support.

“Yeah well... you coulda saved me a lotta trouble if you just told me…” Ty looked away, a little tear on her cheek.

Lane watched her, noticed the tear, “Rishan... I got a little stubborn I guess... I’m just a scared kid sometimes.”

Ty smiled a bit, “A little stubborn?”

Lane tried looking innocent, “Don’t know where I got that from.”

“I would never imagine, I'm not stubborn.”

Lane smiled and hugged her again on impulse, without thinking about it. Ty was very uncomfortable, but slowly hugged him back again.

Lane tried to convince himself away from Ty, “I need to quit, and you don’t like... this.”

“You started it, but getting hit with a book is worse, I guess. I liking kissing better,” she blinked rapidly, uhhh, not that I meant… anything,” she swallowed hard.

Lane smiled easily, his usual friendly manner and nothing more, “Of course not.”

“I don’t think…” Ty coughed a little bit, forcing herself to say it, “he… would like this very much though.”

“I think I’ll go clean the hall a little bit,” Lane turned away from her.

“I think you should,” Ty nodded adamantly.

Kesu gave Ty a funny look, “That mess in the hall is your fault.”

Ty gritted her teeth, “I think he should clean the hall.”

Wesley lifts his arms up to Ty. Ty sighed and picked him up, figured she might as well go all the way in making an ass of herself.

Lane lifted up the bookcase, “Oh hi Sabine... ugh that’s too heavy,” he thudded the shelf back down, still on top of her.

Thorn looked at Lane curiously, wandering over and lifting the bookcase off Sabine, “What're you doing there?”

Sabine could barely whimper, “Ow.”

“It really was too heavy for weak little 92 pound me,” Lane blinked innocently.

Sabine glared at him, “Koorime... must… die.”

Thorn chewed on his lip, “Uh, lemme help you out…”

Sabine glared at Lane as Thorn helped her to her feet, “Slut.”

Lane decided to try it out, stammering at first, “B... b... bitch!” he succeeded triumphantly with a smile.

Ty snickered happily.

Kesu’s eyes went wide, “Where’s Laney and who is this?”

Ty grinned and answered easily, “This is the new Laney and he's my fault.”



~*~*~*~*~

Index
Snow Driven