Innuendo

Tipol is copyrighted to Sallie Drazzi

~*~*~*~*~

“At least someone enjoys your visits,” Calm remarked blandly, watching his golden-haired son clambering over the man opposite him.

Ash grunted in reply, also watching the toddler, not assisting in any way, but not deterring him either. Calm supposed that grunt was some sort of polite answer, or less than polite considering Ash was some distant sort of relation to Jenii.

And there, he struck upon an idea. He contained his smirk, but settled back, already enjoying himself quite a bit more.

“So you served in the army with Jenii?” Calm asked nonchalantly.

“Nhn. Not under his command though.”

“But you did fight?”

“Before being sent here on mission, yes.”

“So… if it came down to it, you could give a man a lethal blow?”

Ash looked up from watching Cocoa, raising an eyebrow at the Force across from him. He was entirely serious. “Of course I could.”

“Like if he was coming really hard… at you?” Calm had to choke down a snigger.

Ash remained expressionless, “Certainly.”

Tipol roused himself, uncurling and curling his tail, drawing himself into the game, “But could you also take a man from behind?” he asked, less than innocently.

“Absolutely.”

Calm choked down yet another amused sound. The fact Ash remained completely serious was even more hilarious. He just didn’t get it.

“So let’s say you’re not on the battlefield, but dug in at station instead, right?” Calm set up the next portion of the taunting. “What if the enemy finds you’re camp?”

The demon scowled, “You mean if they were to attempt an attack, sneaking up on our base?”

“Exactly, and you’re all dug in your hole, defenseless.”

“I would certainly not be defenseless,” Ash snapped the reply, as if insulted. “We would have warning, from scouts, and be prepared.”

“So you’d have your hole all prepared for them?” Tipol pushed the questioning.

“Yes.”

“So like, using your hole as bait? Just waiting for them to enter?” Calm interjected.

“Exactly, waiting for our own chance to strike.”

“Taking them from behind?” Tipol was openly smirking now, very much enjoying this.

“If necessary, yes.”

Calm cleared his throat to cover another laugh, “And while attacking, are you up front, or bringing up the rear?”

“I take either position if so ordered.”

“You’d take up the rear if you were commanded?” Tipol took his turn again.

Ash glanced back and forth between them, looking as if he were a man being thoroughly interrogated by now, but still insanely clueless. “Of course, I obey commands.”

“And if you’ve caught an enemy, might you have to search him for weapons?” Tipol was enjoying this a great deal.

“I have done so, yes.”

“And you find something on him, something hard you can feel?”

“I would take it off him.”

“Right out of his clothes, take his hard weapon?” the felinoid scooted forward, intent on so much more.

“Yes, I would grab it, and force it away.”

“Force it to come off?”

Calm couldn’t help but laugh.



Ash shifted uncomfortably in his chair, not liking at all the fact that Calm and Tipol were exchanging the questioning like this, apparently with plenty of amusement. Ash had no idea what they were amused about, the questions seemed direct enough, and yet he really wanted to get away for some reason.

“Can I get some food? Meat, uncooked meat?” Ash grunted.

“No,” Tipol answered immediately.

Ash scowled, he’d gotten food here before, when trapped into staying.

“I’m kidding,” Tipol shook his head, “Check the fridge, you dumb baby demon.”

“I’m not a baby,” Ash sulked.

“If you can’t find meat in a kitchen, how on earth are you supposed to survive in the wild?”

The demon sulked even more, slouching in his chair. He made an effort to remove the Kouryou baby that was clinging to him so he could escape to the kitchen. He just didn’t move fast enough.

“Haven't you had enough raw meat eating out Ty?” Calm interjected.

Ash tilted his head, pausing where he was, thoroughly frozen by confusion.

“Sexual innuendo there, demon baby,” the felinoid almost smirked. “I take it from your expression you don't have a pussy fetish?”

“What is wrong with you people?” Ash tried to turn over the entire conversation in his mind. “Was it innuendo you were doing previously?”

“Yes, but this is a new kind of sexual innuendo. There's more than one way to make innuendo.”

Ash grunted. Oh that was delightful.

“So you want meat, huh?”

He hesitated. The cat was probably just baiting him into something else. “Yes,” he went for honesty.

“Like just sticking a big slab of meat in your mouth?”

Calm snorted an amused sound, covering his mouth with his hand quickly.

Ash glanced over at the Force, even more confused now. He was fairly certain that had been innuendo as well, that seemed to be the theme of this conversation, but he just couldn’t figure out what they were going on about.

Cocoa clung tighter to Ash, pouting at Tipol, “Deeve my S’adow adone.”

Tipol smiled a little, “I’m sorry for mocking your baby demon, but I think he needs to build his character. Of which he apparently has very little.”

Calm motioned dismissively, trying to collect his straight face again. “Cocoa, really, we’re not picking on him… much.”

“All I wanted was some meat,” Ash sighed, plucking Cocoa off him and setting the infant on the floor.

“I've heard that a few times in my life.”

Calm snorted all over again.

Damael scampered over and picked Cocoa up, smiling at Ash, “I think Love is preparing stew, maybe the meat isn’t quite done yet and you can get some. Come on Cocoa, let’s go feed your Shadow.”

“Feed mah man!” Cocoa wriggled.

“Oh dear S'ilana above, now you're encouraging...”

Damael looked at his husband, down at Cocoa, then at Ash. “… dammit,” he sighed, slouching in defeat.

“So I can keep character building?” Tipol’s eyes glinted mischievously.

“I'd like it if you could brainwash my son, really,” Calm rubbed his temples, eyeing Cocoa worriedly.

“I don't have that power, just mocking.”

“Continue then,” Calm shrugged.

Ash had really been hoping he wouldn’t say that.

“You two are terrible,” Damael swatted at Calm playfully, tugging nervously at Ash, trying to get him to move towards the kitchen.

“So, do you like stew? Or do you have problems putting vegetables that are over an inch long into your mouth?” Tipol shot out the question.

Ash had to pause again, it was just so damn confusing. How the hell did vegetables equate to perversion and innuendo?

“Get you some meat, couple vegetables, go on, nice big slab of meat. Since you don’t have a pussy fetish, obviously.”

“Give him a rest before you injure his poor brain… and make me faint,” Damael tugged at Ash, but it was obvious he was trying not to giggle as well.

Ash really wanted to go back home now.



“Poor demon baby, never lived. No wonder you're hungry, never tasted fish or eaten a banana in your life,” Tipol put on a fake pout as he teased Ash.

“Hnn, what’s going on in here?” Jenii glared around the room.

Calm wasn’t the least put off, Jenii always looked like that. He motioned at Ash, “We’re mocking him.”

“We?” Jenii raised an eyebrow, flicking his gaze over to Tipol.

“Uh oh, you’re fraternizing with the enemy,” Damael giggled.

“The enemy?” Calm smirked at Tipol. “What? He’s great for Ash mocking.”

“Kitty,” Genesis reached up, trying to grab the end of Tipol’s tail. It magically came down to her so she could cuddle it.

“Famine wants him dead,” Jenii growled.

“Ooohh Famine, I see,” Calm couldn’t stop smirking now.

“You’re going against Famine’s word, oh no!” Pestilence giggled, waving at Cocoa.

“Pesti!” Cocoa chimed, throwing the Force a loud smacking kiss before getting back to hugging tightly to Ash.

“Famine is his god,” Damael nodded ever so seriously, “going against her is like… sacrilege!”

“All right,” Jenii sulked, slinking to the couch.

“Oyoy, come on big guy, you gotta admit someone that can pick on Ash can’t be all bad?”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” the demon grunted.

"The way I see it, he's not the problem, the thing he houses is the problem and that's not around right now. If he was trouble, it could be easily dealt with, since he's a Felinoid and they have little to no defenses. The only problem he causes is trying to make my children bend into unusual positions, and maybe one day that will be cause to shoot him, but not right now," Calm grinned.

"Nhnn," Jenii grunted. Of course, Calm wordy and explaining lots of important things and Jenii just grunted.

“By the by, Tipol, this is Jenii. He was part of the army that Ash was a part of, a General.”

“Oh, so a leader sort? So you could have been made to serve under him?” Tipol directed at Ash.

Calm snorted, covering it up with a cough, glancing at Jenii. Jenii gave him a look back that plainly spoke he didn’t understand what was so funny about that. Calm jerked his thumb toward Ash. Jenii grunted, tilting his head to study the younger Shadow.

“Would you serve under him now?”

“If he so required it,” Ash replied honestly to Tipol’s innuendo-laden jab.

Calm caught the flicker of amusement in Jenii’s eye. He nodded, yes, Ash was that clueless. Jenii leaned down, close to Calm.

“Does he really not get it?”

“Oh he gets that we’re making fun of him, he just doesn’t get the innuendo part.”

“He’s that fucking dense?”

“Apparently.”

“Doesn’t he have a home to go to?” Jenii scowled, eyeing Cocoa.

Calm agreed with what he was eyeing, really, “Yeah, but he keeps coming back.”

“He either likes the mocking, or he’s subconsciously into pedophilia,” Tipol interjected.

“Okay! That’s enough Shadow time for you,” Calm pushed himself up to go and retrieve his son.

“Awww, my S’adow,” Cocoa pouted, flopping over as Calm picked him up. The defense of every Kouryou infant, flopping.

“Here, come to me,” Pestilence reached for his mirror-infant.

“I’m not entirely sure that’s better,” Calm sulked, but handed Cocoa over.

“Going to leave us now you’ve had the object of your lusts removed?” Tipol asked nonchalantly.

Ash growled softly, stretching his arm to the side, splaying his fingers. A shadow gathered there, forming into his sword. He lifted the blade, pointing it at Tipol.

Tipol just raised an eyebrow, “Are you compensating for something?”

Ash looked down at the sword, then glared back at Tipol.

“Gods, you'll go after anyone won't you? Take that baby off you and you're pointing that at anyone. Sure you don't have a pussy fetish?"

Calm snorted, glanced back at Jenii. The elder Shadow had casually called his long sword, just as a precaution against Ash no doubt. Genesis was sitting right next to Tipol, after all, Calm could understand his concern.

“You just got that out to show yours is better than his,” Calm had to jibe though.

“I really didn’t need to do that though,” Jenii smirked.

“Are you trying to cut my throat with that? Or are you pondering about thrusting it into my mouth?” Tipol continued to toss quips at Ash, deadly weapon aimed at him or not, he had no fear. “And there’s another compensation! Are you going to start thrusting at one another now?”

“He’s not worth thrusting at,” Jenii grunted.

“At least he gets innuendo,” Tipol canted his head to indicate Jenii to Calm.

“Of course he does, after having a child, I’d really hope so,” Calm smirked.

Tipol reclined, tipping his head up to look back at Jenii, “So you have lots of training with that? Very practised slapping your large weapon against other large weapons?”

Jenii smirked, not giving Tipol the benefit of an answer though. That would only give the felinoid more to work with.

Tipol turned his attention to Ash, as Jenii had hoped, “And you? I suppose you’re not so skilled as he is, being just a baby demon and all.”

Ash growled and took a warning swipe at Tipol, nowhere near, but both Calm and Jenii tensed up in response.

“Nice thrusting, are those hidden dominant urges coming to the surface?” Tipol remained with his straight expression despite the threat and the return insult. “After all, I’m sure you can be as dominant as the next person,” Tipol looked beside him.

Coral blinked back at him, then yawned and rolled over.

“Not that I meant any insult against your ability to take it up the ass of course- oops. Manliness, I meant your manliness,” Tipol smiled.

Ash growled loudly, nearly setting off the protective parents in the room as he abruptly got up and stormed out of the room.

Tipol leaned back with just the barest hint of amusement on his face, “He’ll be back.”





~*~*~*~*~

Index