Nightmare

May 2001

This fic takes into account that Kesu and his family have moved from their apartment,
leaving it to Tanji and Kino to have for their own.

~*~*~*~*~

“What are you thinking?” Kesu’s soft voice touched Tanji’s ears as the two of them walked together.

Tanji blinked up at the canopy, setting his sheathed sword on his shoulder in an attempt to relax. Makai trees were so different from Ningen trees, darker and twisted more, looking more like monsters. “That I enjoy it here… but visiting, missions… I don’t think to live.”

“You like the apartment then?” there was a touch of humor in the kitsune’s tone.

Tanji paused in walking to flash a half-cocked grin back at his friend, “Now that we’ve got some furniture, yeah.”

“Heh,” Kesu grinned back, crossing his arms over his chest, tightening the emerald silk of his tunic across the planes of muscle, “You mean more things to make love on.”

Tanji blushed and looked away, taking a survey of their surroundings visually, auditory, and mentally – a practice he’d taken to doing about every ten minutes of silence. The kitsune forest was fairly quiet most of the time, everyone was keeping to themselves, making their little survey missions seem a little frivolous.

Kesu’s hand touched his bangs, brushing them away from his eyes. When had Kesu gotten so close? Tanji didn’t mind, it was just unsettling, he didn’t put himself through training for nothing. Kesu shifted his stance in that height stealing way he’d perfected, bending to whisper in Tanji’s ear. Tanji blushed again, Kesu was the only one besides Kino he didn’t mind touching him, but there was something extremely odd about this closeness.

“You hear the river, don’t you? Fast and strong…”

By the gods, what the hell was THAT tone!?

“…that black river… ebony river… Kokutan’s river. Our place is near, our den,” Kesu’s voice had dropped an octave, deep and throaty, and right against Tanji’s ear.

True that Kesu’s voice wasn’t quite so alto when he was in Youko form, but never this deep. Kesu donned the fox ears and tail while in Makai, it was only proper of him. The form was a little taller, a little sturdier in appearance, but basically the same as ningen Kesu.

“Kesu… what?” Tanji gasped and shuddered, feeling the kitsune’s lips against his ear in a motion that was not talking… it was kissing.

Tanji’s fist curled, arm drawing back to punch the senses back into his best friend. Kesu’s hand caught his wrist rather unexpectedly. Tanji usually moved too fast for the kitsune… what the hell was going on!?

“I want you to come see it,” Kesu purred, actually purred, a deep rumble from his chest. His one arm held Tanji’s tiny form against him, pinning his other arm in the embrace, his other wrist still locked. It was like a demented slow dance pose. Tanji did NOT dance to this orientation.

“What the fuck are ya on tails!?” Tanji wriggled, but that only seemed to encourage the kitsune.

“You remind me of him… your hair… so dark.”

“Fuck off, Kesu… plenty a people got black hair… quit this sick fuckin joke and lemme go!”

It had to be a joke, Kesu was just pushing it this far to scare the hell out of him. Occasionally Kesu would play around with the idea just to torment Tanji, but this… by the gods he seemed serious about it this time. Even Kesu didn’t act that well for the sake of a joke. No, it had to be a joke.

Tanji found himself lifted suddenly, the arm holding his sword still crushed between them, but the other now free as Kesu used both arms to carry the smaller boy to somewhere. Tanji hauled off and decked him, cracking his jaw assuredly, he heard it and felt the bone give. Kesu just kept right on walking, eyes intent forward, not even breaking stride. The bruise was already beginning to form.

“Kesu let me the fuck GO!” Tanji landed several more blows to his face and chest, nothing fazed him!

Tanji was released suddenly, forcefully onto his face, slammed into something not quite ground. He heard his sword clatter a distance away. Kesu immediately had his wrists pinned behind his back, held there with what had to be his entire weight. Tanji lifted his head, noting it was a thin pallet of blankets on the ground, within a dark small place. It was musty… smelled of years of abandonment and dust.

“Kamaitachi let… me… GO!” Tanji tried to dominate the kitsune using the promise, the power of his sacred name and the key to his energy. He didn’t get so much as a quiver of response from Kesu’s ki. That was very odd, frighteningly so. The ki of a kitsune HAD to obey the name.

Tanji winced as his hands were tied together, high upon his back, bending them unnaturally. “If you would only be good I would let you have your hands… you are so good with your hands,” Kesu breathed in his ear.

“Kesu,” Tanji bit his lip to keep from crying, realization having hit him hard, Kesu meant to do this, “friends… don’t do this.”

“No Tanji, lovers do this,” Kesu ran his strong hands up Tanji’s sides.

“We’re friends Kesu… just friends,” he barely caught the sob.

“No… you belong to me… you’ve always belonged to me.”

“You fucking nut… no I don’t,” Tanji thrashed, but it was hopeless, Kesu’s grip was bruising. “I belong… to Kino.”

“If you meant that you’d fight back.”

“I am fighting back!” Tanji gathered a little more strength. Dammit he had to get out of this or Kesu would… by the gods… no.

“You know you belong to me… you want this.”

“Fuck off!!”

“Oh I plan to,” the vicious whisper in his ear was NOT Kesu’s voice.

Tanji shuddered again, throwing his head back in an attempt to knock their heads together. Kesu’s fingers buried in his hair, slamming his face down into the blanket hard enough to crack his nose. Tanji’s vision went teary, black at the edges.

This wasn’t a joke… this was a nightmare.

“You can scream all you want, no one will hear, but only move when I tell you to,” that strange voice hissed.

Kesu’s hands, those slender delicate fingers… but not his voice. Not even his slightly deeper Youko voice, nowhere near that pretty Sakon voice. What the hell was going on? Tanji ran the thoughts through his jumbled head, tears burning down his face as he held still. He could wait, wait for an opportunity to move. And he wouldn’t scream, something in the voice said this Kesu would enjoy that.

“See? I knew you’d submit to me,” Kesu purred, hands a little rougher up and down his sides, pulling the tank top untucked from his pants.

Tanji bit his lip, trying to quit the whimpers he couldn’t control. Kesu was his best friend, he trusted the kitsune with his life… and more. What the hell was he doing this for? Didn’t he realize what this betrayed?

Tanji was brutally yanked from his thoughts by the unavoidable fact that Kesu had removed his shoes and pants already and was taking off his shorts, leaving his pale skin exposed to the air. It hadn’t been that chilly a moment ago… had it? Hell if you wanted chilly in Makai most anytime of the year you had to go to Koorime. But still, Tanji was chilled right to the core.

Kesu’s fingers were playing over his flesh, shoving the tank top as far up as it would go because his arms were bound together. At least Tanji retained that much dignity, not that there was very much left. Stripped to just his meager and thin tank, hands bound, face pressed against blankets in a small chilled cavern-like place with Kesu’s nimble hands touching him like that – no there was no dignity to be found here. He tensed even more, muscles trembling with the exertion, when Kesu pressed his hands into the small of his back.

“You could use the phoenix,” Kesu teased.

“Too small… I would… never… survive,” Tanji growled, spitting out the words, trying to ignore the assault on his most sensitive of places to be touched..

“But it would all be over… true?”

Tanji had, truthfully, thought of that. To release the phoenix, to turn this cavern into a cauldron of flame that would devour everything hungrily, even himself. Tanji did not fear death, there had been times in his life when he welcomed it. If it were his time to die he would have no regrets about it. But one thing told him it was not his time to go.

Kino.

Tanji squeezed his eyes tightly shut, singling out and concentrating on one blissful memory, one where nothing else could be seen but her. It was a moment when he had used the Jagan to perceive her aura, for whatever reason, leaving that shining corona around her and the rest of the visage grayed out. She was so angelic, even moreso in that memory. He had always meant to paint that.

Kesu growled, claws digging suddenly into Tanji’s waist, flipping his lighter prey so easily onto his back. His hands bound behind him made the position so uncomfortable he gasped. Kesu’s tongue surprised him, thrusting viciously into his mouth and nearly choking him. Tanji tried to thrash his head but a severe grasping of hair made that movement impossible.

Fighting would only get him hurt worse. His only hope was that Kesu would finish quickly. But, Tanji realized with a groan, kitsunes were infamous for their stamina.

Kesu’s hands kneaded his shoulders as his kiss slipped down his broken jaw, along his neck and collarbone. Then he moved further down, managing somehow with Tanji’s tank top still on to get around the fabric enough to capture a nipple in his hot mouth. Tanji winced at a sharp little stabbing of pain as Kesu nibbled, trying to arc his back in a meek attempt at warding Kesu away. The pain repeated itself with the other nipple, Tanji renewing his thrashes at Kesu’s sickening licking and sucking.

Kesu pulled back, placing a strong hand on Tanji’s diaphragm just heavy enough to expel all breath from the boy’s lungs, leaving him helpless. He purred as he looked down upon his captive, an idle hand removing the sash of his tunic, letting the top fall open. Then his hand moved to massage Tanji’s thigh, his eyes intent upon his stomach.

“This tattoo,” Kesu leaned down to place a tender kiss at Tanji’s navel, “I remember. You never told me the meaning, but I know. This tattoo, at the very place where you were once joined to your mother… it’s that other half of you that you were searching for, wanting your whole life to catch that other flame from your dreams. And you found her,” Kesu finished with a snarl, eyes slitting viciously.

Tanji shuddered at that expression, that display of pure loathing. He wanted to look away but found he couldn’t. Kesu bent and slipped his tongue within Tanji’s navel, caressing the tattoo surrounding it with his tongue before thrusting within over and over. Tanji bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, nearly choking on it. He fought himself not to retch as Kesu removed his tunic pants in a swift and easy motion, tossing his top to the side as well, his naked form pale and radiant. The silver kitsune grasped Tanji’s legs and forced them apart despite any residue of fight left in the boy.

Kesu’s searing and throbbing member was poised, ready, the kitsune’s entire body trembling with the exertion of inaction, of staying there and lengthening the horror as long as possible.

Then Kesu moved forward.

Tanji began to scream, but quickly Kesu’s hand slammed down over his mouth. Tanji continued screaming as Kesu ripped deeper into him. Gods it felt like he was splitting in halves! The moment’s bliss as Kesu pulled out was only replaced by a doubling of pain at a second and much deeper penetration, then again and again, quickening to relentless ferocity.

There was so much pain. Even Tanji, who could ignore and usually not even register most lower levels of pain, found this unbearable. He continued screaming, vibrating the flesh of Kesu’s hand. The kitsune was putting too much weight on it, grinding a jaw already fractured and in pieces. Tanji realized he needed to breathe, his lungs burning for it almost enough to dull the pain of the vicious penetrations. He forced himself to stop screaming, to breathe through his nose despite the thick taste of blood.

Kesu was overwhelmed by the tightness surrounding him, the sheer heat within the little Youkai that drove him relentlessly forward, delving into him over and over again, seeking more in a frenzy. He felt Tanji had stopped screaming and removed his hand from Tanji’s mouth, watching those lips part for a deeper breath. The kitsune snaked his arm around the boy, finding the bindings of his arms and releasing them.

Tanji, lost in hysteria-inducing levels of pain, found himself throwing his arms around Kesu’s shoulders, fighting to stay upright to do so. Kesu’s arms wrapped around him so securely, keeping him against him and whispering lovingly in his ear.

“Shhh, it’s all right, Tanji… quiet… quiet…”

“It hurts, Kes… too much…” Tanji was babbling, unable to think rationally, in too much pain to realize the very friend he was clinging to for salvation was the one causing the pain.

“I know it hurts… everything is fine, my little phoenix,” Kesu caressed up and down his back, massaging the base of his spine.

Tanji sobbed unrestrained, fingers tangled in cascades of silver as the pain overwhelmed him, ruby eyes wide and shimmering with tears as he saw nothing but colors and lights of pure agony. Kesu was the one thing familiar in this nightmare, in desperate effort for comfort Tanji’s mind had separated that from the rest. It was not Kesu who had carried him here, who had slammed him down to the ground, who was now thrusting into him at a pace abandoning reason and over all previously known levels of pain. Kesu was holding him, that was the true Kesu, whispering gently in his ear and telling him everything was fine. That sweet and gentle voice was the Kesu he had known all his life, who was always there when he needed him, holding him when even he did not realize he needed it himself. Smiling, laughing, chatty Kesu, bright green eyes and silver hair. His beautiful friend, the friend he didn’t deserve, but who was promised to him forever anyway.

The part of Tanji’s consciousness that was grounded in the reality of the physical, crept into his thoughts and told him his body had had enough. His vision went black as Tanji tumbled off past his threshold for pain, collapsing against the kitsune.

Kesu had been so close to release it didn’t matter that Tanji passed out. A few more thrusts was all he needed, slamming himself into the unconscious youkai’s tight heat, entire body tensing like a live wire as he came with a muted cry. He gently eased the boy back onto the pallet, gasping for breath, kissing that nearly serene face. Then he slipped away from him, leaving him there just as he was.

~*~*~*~*~

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